It's a Strange and Lovely Ride: November 2012

Wednesday, November 28, 2012

the mommy guilt.

Gah. Today has been a day. And it's only noon.

As I've mentioned before- I work from home. And only part-time, thank goodness. But with this job and projects for Lilac Row, it's days like this that I feel like I just woke up and blinked and half the day is gone. And- oh, yeah!- my daughter is running around in the background, fending for herself.

Oh, the guilt. I just put her down for a nap and I can't even tell you how many days I have literally counted the hours in my head until the next time she will go to sleep... so that I will have some uninterrupted time to cross something off my list.

I feel horrible even typing that out loud.

That's not the kind of mother I want to be. I want to be present. I want to be fun. I want to answer her the first time she asks me to "hold you mama" or "mama help you?", not the 5th. I don't want her to remember me sitting in front of this blasted computer all day long.

But it's so hard to fit everything in. Sometimes I just physically don't know how to do it. Does anyone? If so, please enlighten me.

And here's the thing- I'm pretty sure I know what my problem is. I take on too many things. Self-imposed, not other people requesting things. It's just me and my little over-active, over-achieving mind. Which is selfish. My time is not only my own. It's my husband's and it's my daughter's. And above all? It's God's.

I feel like I need to fall on my knees and just cry and ask for forgiveness right now. I have been so, so selfish lately. Everything I do- each thing I make a priority- is of my own choosing. Not once have I stopped to ask Jesus if this is what He wants me to be doing at his particular moment. And far too often I do whatever the heck it is I want to do, rather than considering what my husband wants or needs. Even if that just means sitting on the couch next to him, holding his hand- without my phone or a project in the other hand. I mean, how hard is that?

And my girl? Well her needs are far more apparent. And sure, I meet them.. food, diapers, hugs, play. But largely with only half of my attention. Always thinking of something else. Of all that I need to do. And is any of it more important than that sweet baby and her request to "hold you mama"?

Absolutely not.

Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Festive Mayhem

Hi turkeys! I can hardly believe that Thanksgiving has come and gone. This year is flying by.

And with all of the eating and giving thanks behind us, we turn our eyes to Evie's impending birthday. Cue the tears, my baby will be two! So we thought we should do some trial runs for her celebration by taking her to a few other kid birthday parties recently. You know- to work out the kinks. ;)

doiiiing

This girlie put on a good show, busting in on the birthday boy's presents and eating off of everyone else's plate. She basically bogarted this toy mic and got her germs all over it before our little friend even had a chance to see it. You've gotta be quick. Toddler-hood is cut throat.

I can't believe this little dark-haired peanut has gotten so big. I just want to squish those newborn baby cheeks and sniff that baby smell. I can say this- sister hasn't gotten any quieter in her two years. She has a lot to say and she's always wanted to be heard!

a few weeks old. sniff.

And like any good mom, I've been talking up her birthday and coaching her to say "Iiiiiii'm TWO!" when you ask her how old she's going to be. It's pretty stinking cute.

She slays me.

I have decided to save my sanity this year by outsourcing the birthday party. As in- we're partying at Little Gym! I mean, it hasn't happened yet, but I'm pretty certain I will count this as one of the best decisions I've made this year. No worrying about cleaning my house from top to bottom, trying to figure out how to squeeze in all the people we would like to invite or worrying about spilled beverages on the carpets and broken Christmas ornaments. Amen and amen.

So this weekend I'll bake a cake, put together some party favors and try on all of my leotards. If that's not a recipe for a successful 2 year old birthday party, I don't know what is.

Sunday, November 25, 2012

Project 52:46 {patience}

thankful for...

patience

Despite how the photo may look, the patient one here is the dog.

As much as I would love to be a petless family at this point (there, I said it).. Duke is Evie's best friend. She asks for him every morning when she wakes up, laughs at him, tries to hug him, and squats down in front of his bed when he moans or groans or anything and says "Whas a matter buddy? Whas a matter dukesy?"

Her interest has spread to his bone the past few weeks. When she wakes up and asks where Duke is, the next question out of her mouth is always "Duke's bone? Bone go? Where oh where could it be?" :) And she loves to grab it and carry it around and basically tease him with it to no end. And boy oh boy am I thankful that this pup is so patient with my girl.

As far as Evie's patience... well, we're working on that one. ;)

* * * * *

Read more about my Project 52.

Linking my Project 52 with:

Saturday, November 17, 2012

Project 52:45 {individuality}

thankful for...

individuality

She chose her own get-up here. Per usual.

I think I'm going to be in for it when she starts to really want to pick out her own outfits each day. But I love that she is totally, completely, 100% her own person. She keeps us (and everyone in a 10 foot radius) on our toes and it's simply delightful. I hope she always stays true to herself and swims against the crowd when needed. Stripey hat and all.

* * * * *

Read more about my Project 52.

Linking my Project 52 with:

Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Getting back to normal...

Well! After an extremely long, dusty, WINDY and amazing weekend at the Vintage Market Days event, I am finally starting to feel like I'm getting back to normal.

Yes, it took me Monday and most of Tuesday to get there.

SUV loaded up with goodies!

The event was ca-razy. We had some record-setting, hurricane-type winds sweeping through the plains the entire time. It was ridiculous. The event is outdoors and this time around, we decided to be out on the grass instead of on the big porch. We wanted more space and thought it would be fun. HA! On Thursday, we started setting up at 10 a.m., and by 2 p.m. our tent had bitten the dust. I literally felt like Moses holding my arms up to part the Red Sea as I stood there for I don't know how long, trying to keep that stupid tent from blowing over. I asked the girls running the whole thing if they had any space on the porch or inside the huge central tent or just somewhere else where we might get some cover. Thank goodness they moved a few things around and got us in the big tent! We were so relieved, even though we had to tear down, haul our stuff (on foot!) and set up all.over.again. But it was SO worth it!

I really wish I had taken more pictures during the weekend, but it was so windy and dusty, we were literally trying to wipe and dust the gross-ness off of everything the entire time. I didn't want to get my camera all dirty and I'm bummed I didn't get any pictures of my mom, Sarah and I. But here are a few of the booth that I took on Saturday:

We weren't really sure if Sunday was going to happen or not, because there was rain in the forecast for most of Sunday morning. A number of the vendors packed up on Saturday night, but I'm so glad we decided to stay. We protected our stuff really well Saturday night and we were all really surprised to see how many people came out after the rain stopped! By that time a cold front had moved in, so we were guzzling coffee to stay warm, but it was much better than that crazy wind!

It was an unforgettable experience, to say the least. :)

OH! And I started a Facebook page for Lilac Row, so come like our page! I realize I should have done this ages ago, and probably instead of creating the Lilac Row blog, but oh well! Hopefully it will be easier for me to post pictures of projects I'm working on and other fun happenings. Hope to see you there!

Tuesday, November 6, 2012

Hooo Hoooo! {Halloween 2012}

HOOOO HOOOOOOO!

Again with the HOO HOOO-ing.

Happy Halloween a week late! It's only taken me this long to upload and attempt to edit some pictures. Our Halloween this year was the best ever. There is just nothing like celebrating a holiday with an itty bitty child.

So yes, I made Evie's owl costume. I was so glad it actually turned out! I just never know with half the things I attempt. :) Basically I cut out little "feathers" from 4 different fabrics and sewed them (by rows) onto a black t-shirt from Walmart. I went up a few sizes so that it would be long on her, like a dress. I ended up cutting the sleeves off as well. The cape/wings part is a big semi-circle of fabric with more feathers sewn on. It was really way easier than it sounds! I made her mask the day before our first party, so I'm thankful it turned out and she wore it. I made it out of black felt, fabric and elastic. She got lots of compliments at the Halloween parties/festivals we attended Sunday, which made me happy. But then, with her sparkling personality, sister gets noticed and compliments no matter what she's wearing. :)

I was so glad we decided to trick-or-treat with her cousins this year. Being with the big kids made it so much more fun for her, and she loves observing everything they do. The oldest girl, Ashlynn (not related to us- our cousin's cousin!) was so sweet to her. She held her hand and walked so slow with her from house to house while the other kids raced along. All the adults were trailing, taking a million pictures and shouting "thank you! Say thank you!!"

She caught on pretty quickly to the whole thing. My favorite part of the night was watching her fully walk right past the person answering the door, trying to go in their house! She did it twice! It was hilarious. She was also so sweet and giving with her candy. I don't let her eat sweets yet, so thankfully she didn't really know what she was getting. At one point she tried to hand it all out to us! "One for daddy. Mama want one? Ere ya go." So adorable. And I didn't see it, but my MIL said she saw her try to give a piece of candy to some homeowners when they opened the door. Little lovie.

Thursday, November 1, 2012

Project 52:44 {cousins}

thankful for...

cousins

We spent Halloween night with our cousins this year. Our second (or third or whatever!) cousins, to be exact.

Evie is the first and only grandchild on both sides of our family, so it's fun that she has these two big cousins to hang out with. I never had any cousins my age growing up, and was always jealous of my friends who did. They were like extra friends! So I hope we spend many more Halloweens trick-or-treating together. She absolutely loved hanging with the big kids and I hope these little traditions become sweet memories down the road.

* * * * *

Read more about my Project 52.

Linking my Project 52 with: