Some mama encouragement

I have read a number of really good blog posts and articles in the past week, that have spoken to me as a mother. Motherhood is so amazing and rewarding. And HARD. I think we moms are the hardest on ourselves and it's so easy to get consumed with whatever tough phase is currently going on at home. 

So if you've already exceeded your "yell quotient" for today (a friend on FB posted about this recently!), or are struggling through potty training or sleeping issues or back talk… grab a cup of coffee and lock yourself in the bathroom to read through some of these. And I hope you're as encouraged by these sweet women as I have been… to be present, to love our little ones well and to give ourselves a much needed break sometimes.

And then watch the video at the end. You'll most certainly cry and it's a beautiful depiction of a mama's love.

Motherhood Refines via The Tiny Twig

Authentic & Mindful {An interview with Dr. Barbara Sorrels} via Under the Sycamore

The Joy of Learning Contentment via Emily A. Clark

Faithfulness in the Mundane via The Anderson Crew

waving my white flag

It's not even noon yet, today, and here I am, waving my proverbial white flag.

I started the day off with so much intention and a long list of to-do's, only to be thwarted by a torrential downpour that was never even hinted at by our local meteorological gurus. They don't get paid the big bucks for nothing, right?? Sheesh.

As we waited patiently outside the grocery store for said downpour to pass, my (potty trained!) daughter squirmed around on my lap, repeatedly telling me that no, she did not have to go potty. An alarming stillness and warm sensation on my leg later, and it's official. I HAVE BEEN PEED ON. So out we go, into the rain, so I can deposit her back into her seat with a grocery bag tucked under her wet bottom for good measure. We were quite the pair, driving dejectedly back home- sopping wet, grumpy and on the verge of tears. One of us decided to suck her thumb for comfort and the other wondered why she didn't have a flask of something hidden in the car.

Back home (with absolutely zero groceries.. and did I mention friends are coming over for dinner tonight?? It might be a Bring Your Own Dinner dinner party), we hightailed it to the bath after Evie splashed around in the rain for a bit. I ignored the yelps of my poor, wet dog out back, because mama's only got two hands. Naturally, I had left him outside for our outing, because IT WASN'T SUPPOSED TO RAIN. Perfect. Once my girl was clean and cozy on the couch watching Mickey Mouse Something or Other, I took a deep breath and tried to relax. Still ignoring the dog staring at me from the back door. I lit a candle, rewarmed my half cup of coffee and unloaded the dishwasher. Just as I was starting to feel my blood pressure level off, I picked up my cup to take a healthy swig and looked down to see a DEAD FLY floating in my chai.

Sweet Baby Jesus, have mercy.

And so, with that, I am giving up on today. I am refusing to venture back out for groceries until the sun comes back out, I likely won't shower and my hubby may very likely have to serve our guests cold cereal tonight.

Oh wait. We don't have any milk.

Stick a fork in me.

it's a potty party

 

The colorful, teeny underwear are out and potty training is in full effect around these parts.

 

I had planned to start tomorrow, but with a change of plans today, we moved things up. So far, so good! And by good, I don't mean no accidents... of course there have been plenty. But I do mean my girl is excited about it and into it and I have cleared anything and everything off of my mental to-do list for the next few days to focus on this.

Wish us luck!!
And any advice or tips you have- please send them our way!
 

 

 

a heart of worship

Earlier this week, as we were running errands, I had my favorite worship song on in the car.

When I lost my first baby, I would lock myself in my office at work and play this song over and over and just cry and worship.

I continued to listen to the entire album when I was pregnant with Evie. And when she was colic and crying endlessly in those early months, I would hum and sing this same song to her. Over and over.

Worship has always been a huge part of me. I am so moved by music and I feel the presence of God so strongly in times when I let my whole heart, mind and spirit worship. It's always a very emotional experience for me and it stirs my soul in the very best way. And I want that for Evie, too. The desire to teach my daughter to worship has been heavy on my heart lately. I want her to sing with abandon and not care what anyone else around her thinks. I want songs of praise to come out of her mouth without a thought, because that's what she hears and because that's what's in her heart.

... for out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks.
Luke 6:45

So I have been trying to be more intentional with my worship, in front of my daughter. She takes it all in these days and mimics so much of what we do and say. I want worship to be a part of our everyday life... as normal as eating breakfast and pulling every single book off the shelf and terrorizing the dog.

And so because of this desire, I can't express how happy it made my mama heart when I realized that Evie was singing along with me in the car. Her sweet little voice knew the words. And she may not realize quite yet that she is praising and giving glory to Jesus, but He knows.

And so do I.

I pray these words burrow down deep in her heart. That she never forgets them, that she finds herself singing them mindlessly. Until the day when she realizes what she is singing, who she is praising and how important these words are.

The spirit now living and dwelling within me
Keep my eyes fixed ever upon Jesus' face
Let not the things of this world ever sway me
I'll run 'till I finish the race

Now unto the lamb who sits on the throne
Be glory and honor and praise
All of creation resounds with the song
Worship and praise him the Lord of Lords

 

Holy Lord
You are Holy
Jesus Christ is the Lord

sweet moments

Yesterday, I held and rocked my girl in the dark for close to an hour. She had a very restless (and sleepless) nap of about 30-40 minutes. So after 5 minutes of "hold you daddy.. hold you mama minute.. hold you mama" once she woke up, I went in there and scooped her up and rocked her so that she could get some rest.

It took me right back to a year ago. More than that, even. 

She wasn't a good sleeper in the beginning. Seemed to boycott it daily. We eventually figured out that she cried each night because her tummy hurt :( I still have quite a bit of mommy guilt about that. But even after cutting out dairy to remedy the gas, that didn't really fix the 30 minute/5 times per day catnap "schedule" we were on. It was exhausting. Physically and mentally. And time after time, I would go in there when she had awakened to hold and rock her in the dark, trying to extend that nap just a little bit. Sometimes it worked, sometimes it didn't.

Yesterday, it did. And I just breathed her in. 

She's still so tiny, that girl of mine. Her little body scrunches and molds to fit in my arms, just like it has this whole time. Her head still nestles into the right side of my neck. Always the right side. She still gets a little sweaty from our body heat, but wants a blanket to cover her, just like her mama. When she stirs, she often mumbles something in her sleep. Usually it's about her Daddy, and always, it makes my heart ache.

There is arguably nothing sweeter than holding a sleeping babe.

 

I don't want to forget these sweet, stolen moments and I definitely don't want to waste them. Now that she's older and typically a champion sleeper, I battle with whether or not to hold and rock her for very long before bedtime. My mind says no, keep it short... we don't want her to start to rely on us more to go to sleep and start the middle of the night wakings again. But sometimes my heart and my arms just long to hold her a while longer. To squeeze her to my chest and kiss her soft, chubby cheeks and face over and over and over. And to whisper in the dark how she'll never know just how much I love her.

 

May 2012

 

my priorities & no more busy

I've been thinking a lot about this lately.. about exactly what my priorities are and what they should be. The word "busy" has also been at the forefront of my mind. And after coming across a number of blog posts about these very topics and touching on the subject in my bible study lately, I can't help but think that God is trying to get my attention. So here I am, trying to listen. 

It's been a while since I've felt He's tried to get me to pay attention to something specific. Not that He isn't always trying- more that I'm actually catching on this time. I'm praying that I really learn and take hold of what exactly He's trying to impress upon me right now.

So here are my jumbled thoughts on all of this. Hopefully by writing some things out, I will be able to clarify a little and someone else can benefit along the way..

"I'm busy" 

"We've been so busy!"

"Oh, just busy with xyz"

Busy seems to have become the expected, normal response these days when someone asks how you're doing or what you've been up to. Me? Totally guilty. If I think back, the standard "oh, fine" is no longer my answer. It's usually "oh, just keeping busy!"  Busy with what? Aren't we all busy? 

When I really sit back and think about it, my busy consists simply of my everyday life. Yes, there have been times in the past few months when I've had extra commitments or projects to complete or deadlines I was working against. In those cases, busy might have actually been appropriate. But every day? Not so much. It seems to be more of a cloak of supposed importance. Like I have to make sure people know that I am just going, going, going every second of the day, hardly stopping for a rest. And is that true? No, it's not. Frankly, as a stay-at-home-mom, I have a lot of down time. Oh, sure, there are always things that I could be doing, like cleaning the bathrooms or another load of laundry or actually putting on make up and fixing my hair or completing a project for our booth. But usually in the late afternoon, I want to sit on the couch with my girl and watch Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. Because to me, just sitting there, watching the joy on her face, holding her hand and snuggling her tight is much more important (and more appealing) than scrubbing the toilet.

I guess my point is, busy has just become an excuse. At least for me. And when we offer it as our answer when someone asks what we've been up to or how we are, it's like a little wall we put up, rather than sharing how we're really doing. Do I need to tell the usher at church that I've been super emotional this week, when they ask? No. And the acquaintance I run into at the grocery store doesn't need to know about the argument I just had with my husband/best friend/sister/whomever. But when someone close to me asks, and really wants to know... well, what's the point in responding with, "ugh, I've been SO busy" when that shares nothing at all? 

I also need to work on not carrying busy around with me all the time. And this is where my skewed priorities come in. I am realizing more and more that I just take on too much. I have not been intentional with my time. And that just causes me to be irritable and scattered. Not what I'm going for. When I start three different projects at a time and throw a load of laundry in and stop to play with Evie and start dinner and check my work email- all in a 30 minute span- my attention is not really on any of these tasks. I like to think I'm a great multi-tasker (all moms seem to be!), but when you aren't giving your full attention to something, how can it be completed well? It can't, really. And for the laundry or heck, even dinner, that's okay with me. But my job should get my full attention. When my husband comes home from work, he should get my full attention. And I don't for a minute want Evie to think that sitting in front of my computer is more important than she is to me.

So I've been trying to slow down a bit, really think before I start something new. My days could seem mundane, but I truly love them here at home with my girl. I wouldn't trade it for anything. And I don't want this time with her to just.. pass. I want us to enjoy it, take full advantage of it. Which requires me taking an honest look at all that I have on my plate, and perhaps cutting a few things out. Or at least scaling them back. Because I want to really focus, really enjoy what I do have going on right now. I haven't pinpointed exactly what will be scaled back, but I'm thinking and praying about it a lot.

If you want to read more, here are a few great reads:

The Tiny Twig's "we've been so busy"

Naptime Diaries: write new rules.

The Tiny Twig's giving up on good series

Beautifully Rooted: Happy Messy

 

Monday Monday

Every single holiday, I have great intentions of posting meaningful pictures and words..  

Oh, hello, Mother's Day!

Oh, well. I'm not going to beat myself up about it, because frankly, I'm not all that surprised that it didn't happen. but thankfully, I did enjoy the day, fully. From sleeping in and a surprise breakfast from Panera to church with my little family of three to chocolate raspberry cheesecake to painting projects during naptime to my daughter spelling her own name aloud.

Yeah. That's right. Wonder Baby here spelled E-V-I-E out loud on the drive home from church. We just looked at each other like, did you just hear that??? I think we may be in for it.

I just put a lasagna in the oven, and before you get all excited, just know that it came in a frozen red box stamped with Stouffers. And I'm okay with that. Excited, frankly. Their lasagna is freakin good.

On Saturday night I ran a 5k with my friend Nina, who does the Strolling Moms class with me. It was great! It was pretty weird doing a run like that at night.. they're usually in the morning. I really didn't know what to eat beforehand, so I made the weirdest shake concoction ever: baby spinach, peanut butter, greek yogurt and ice. OH! And a few splashes of QT's Pumpkin Spice Latte. I thought I needed a little caffeine in the mix. It was.. interesting. Stunk up the car, that's for sure. But honestly, I felt great during the run and we made good time.

I was surprised at how many kids were running! And not just the Fun Run, but the actual 5k. No way I could have run that far as a kid. On the last little hill up to the finish line, we passed this adorable 7 or 8 year old girl running with her dad. They were holding hands and he was talking to her, encouraging her, as they ran. Melt my heart! It was so precious.

Today I put out the SOS to other moms asking what kinds of outside toys and activities were good for toddlers. I'm seriously running out of ideas! Well, scratch that, I really don't have any at all, other than playing with the rocks in our landscaping, and that's losing it's shine. I need to get her one of those water tables. I think she would love it. And it's just so much nicer to spend time outside while the weather is nice. And you can only take so many walks/runs, am I right? We did head to the neighborhood pond to feed the over-zealous ducks this afternoon. I was a little scared at how close they came to Evie in the stroller. Those beaks!

Oh, so any ideas for me?? Seriously, please share.

I hope you all had a great weekend and Happy Mother's Day!  

A wee bit tired.

I think we have some (more) teething going on here at Casa Strange y Lovely.

Sad face.

Evie woke up around 3 am crying. We typically let her cry/whine for a bit to see if she will put herself back to sleep, because 8 out of 10 times, she does. No dice today. So between the hours of 3 and 5 am, hubby and I took turns going in to hold, rock and console her, only to put her down and have her crying again by the time we got out the door.

Another sad face.

At 5, I grabbed a pillow and blanket and went in there to get her and set up shop in the rocker. My baby finally got some relief and sleep, laying on mama. I thought about trying to get up to put her in her crib a few times, but didn't want to risk it. She needed to sleep. And each time she would stir and reposition, she would say "hi Mama. Much!".. translation: Oh, hi there Mama. I love you SO much!

I don't even think she was awake each time she said it. Little sugar.

And then at 7:40 am, she woke up, fresh as a daisy. Meanwhile, I'm still trying to work out all the kinks in my neck and back throw back enough coffee to function. Wish me luck.

Thanks to hubby for grabbing me a donut on his way to work.

Happy Tuesday. You'll find me napping the rest of the day.

Kiddos.. the magic number

I have babies and kids and family on the brain today.

How many kids do you want?

 

Two seems to be the common answer, but for me, that was never enough. I have a brother and a sister, so I've always thought three or four. And honestly, four sounds like a "rounder" number to me, as far as little pairs and buddies and someone for everyone to play with. 

Older brother & younger sister = Middle Child Syndrome. 

Now, this isn't a done deal or anything at Casa Lovely. Hubby and I have had many discussions about how many kids we want to have. He has always said two, and frankly, after the dark colic days with Evie, I think he might have been happy to have just one, if I would have agreed. 

But, oh, the joy of this little girl.
I would challenge anyone to spend time with her for a day or two and not want another one (or two) just like her.

I want lots just like her. :)

I'm only silently hoping at least one of them resembles me in some way.

Lots of kids can be hard, though. I can only imagine. And expensive and possibly a little trickier to manage, as far as car seats, travel, bedrooms, college, weddings to pay for, etc.

And of course I think those are valid things to consider when deciding on your family size. 

Not to mention the very real, hard experiences so many have today, with fertility issues. I don't mean to gloss over that at all, but Praise Jesus, we haven't had troubles there. 

I just find it so interesting that these days, people think any more than two kids is a "big" family. When people ask how many you want, everyone seems to be surprised if you say any more than two. 

Here is my point. I've come across a few great, funny/inspiring/eye-opening blog posts recently, from some of my favorite bloggers. And I wanted to share. These ladies have really encouraged and inspired me in my desire to have a house full of babies and all of the joy and love that might follow. I want big family get-togethers at holidays, siblings as best friends, and our own little clan..

Ashley Ann at Under the Sycamore shared the sweetest moment between her little girl and one of her brothers. 

I love the way Firecracker calls her 3 older brothers "her boys".

This post at Jones Design Company really struck a chord with me. 

Emily shares (very honestly) how hard it can sometimes be with 4 little ones.. and hits the nail on the head with how moms should be encouraging each other. She handled herself much better than I might have!

And I love the way Emily of The Anderson Crew keeps things real and humorous with expanding brood of adorable kiddos. 

She has SIX. :) This post cracked me up.

So what say you? 

Do you want the American average of 2.5 kids or a gaggle full of little ones?

Let's talk food. Again.

Have you seen my friend Katie's weekly meal plans? If not, you should. She's not a food blogger and she'll be the first to tell you she's not a gourmet chef. And I think it's only been in the last year or so that she's been trying to eat out less and spend more time in the kitchen. But each Monday, she shares her weekly meal plan. And it's not all hugely fancy or time consuming.. she likes things simple and delicious. And each week when the post pops up in my reader, I feel SO GUILTY. 

:)

Guys. I need to be cooking more. Like way more.

I'm pretty sure my friend Sarah is doing meal plans, too. In fact, I know a lot of people plan their weekly dinners out this way, and it makes so much sense, as far as staying organized, saving some money at the grocery store and avoiding that dreaded "what do we have to eat??" question when you're two steps past starving.

In my defense, I do try to think about what we have on hand and mentally plan for a few dinners during the week. But seriously? We eat out or pick something up way more than we should. And I hardly ever make a full out grocery list of all ingredients, etc for multiple meals before heading to the grocery store, like I know I should.

Pinterest has definitely helped me find and remember recipes that I like or want to try. I just need to do it more. Because let's be honest here. I am home every.single.day now. And while hubby knew cooking wasn't at the top of my hobbies list when he married me, he is always very happy and appreciative when I do cook- no matter what it is. And I really want to cook for him. And Evie. I want our kids growing up with favorite meals that mom makes, or loving Taco Tuesday, or for us to have some special dish that I make every MLK Day or some such. :) You get the idea. 

So I'm putting it out there. I WILL be cooking more.

And not to leave you empty-handed, here are two recipes that I tried last week and both got our stamp of approval in the YUM and EASY categories. Both were found on Pinterest (of course), and photos are from the original sources.

French Dip Crescents

via Mama Loves Food

Crockpot (Zesty) Italian Chicken

via The Girl Who Ate Everything

Okay, share time. What are you cooking for dinner this week? Any great blogs or sites that post yummy, EASY recipes I need to check out? OR have you found a great system for planning and organizing your meal plan? I need all the help I can get! Thanks friends!

Don't Hold Your Breath

Well, it's the last day of January, which naturally brings to mind BATHING SUIT SEASON.

Am I right?

Bathing Beauty: Exhibit A

I'm signed up for all of those deal sites, so my email inbox is constantly flooded with can't-possibly-pass-them-up offers like 2 for 1 racks of ribs, half price lipo and 10% off the fruit of the month club.

Bathing Beauty: Exhibit B

But every once in a while an actual deal pops up that I can really use, and yesterday was the day. A local swim school had half price tuition for baby swim classes, and the enrollment fee was waived. Sign us up! This is great for us for a few reasons:

1. Evie and I get out of the house twice a week for more than just a daily trip to Target and jaunt around the block.

2. Physical activity. Not just for the wee one. Let's just say I'm sorely lacking in that department.

3. My MIL has a pool, so come summer it's our second home. Some real skills for our girl will be great for everyone's peace of mind.

4. And finally, the proof is in the pudding. I fully expect Evie to do one of these numbers after our 6 class stint. The video is totally worth watching. Mucho impressed, Manny. (And Sarah!)

Bathing Beauty / Hot Daddy: Exhibit D12

So we're excited! Searched Target high and low yesterday for the little swim diaper she needed (not the disposable ones, grrr). And sister still fits in her swimsuits from last summer, teeny little thing that she is, so that's nice. 

Buuuutt... then there's mama. It didn't really dawn on me that I would also have to break out a suit for these classes until last night. Awesome.

Bathing Beauty: Exhibit C

And this takes me right on back to my dilemma of last spring: is a two piece Mom Appropriate? Gah. All modesty and missing six-pack business aside, I'm thinking for the swim class, a bikini might not make sense. There's just too much movement and activity involved when chasing a now very mobile little babe around. Don't want any wardrobe malfunctions. **shudder**

SO. Back to High Ho Target O I go.

Wish me luck.

Attack of Mama Bear: Exhibit 36

sick

My sweet little baby isn't feeling great today. Last night I hadn't been asleep long when I heard her soft cries for mama.. mama.. mama. :(  I waited a bit, thinking she would resettle and go back to sleep, but it kept up, softer and a little more pitiful than usual. When I picked her up she grabbed on to me tight and I could feel something wet. After a quick, blind feel of her crib, I knew she had gotten sick. So I took her into daddy and went to clean up. My poor little baby. Throw up all over the mattress. Everywhere. I almost started to cry, thinking she had been sitting in there for any length of time while I lay in bed hoping she would go back to sleep.

For the next three hours I held her and rocked her and tried to soothe her to sleep. Every 20 minutes or so she would start to squirm and start to cry mama, mama, mama, even while I held her. Then the heaving. We both smelled of vomit after long and I changed my shirt twice. And kept on holding her. My sweet little babe.

This is our first experience with this kind of sickness. Not fun. Surprisingly, the gross factor really didn't faze me when my baby needed me. Mama, mama, mama.

It's humbling that a little person can need you so much. That you are all they want, all they need.. the only thing or person that will do when they feel the worst.

She woke up today feeling better and happy and is now taking a long, long nap. Praying the little bug is gone and her tummy feels much better from here on out. And if not, well, I don't think there's anything more important on my to-do list today than holding her, rocking her, soothing her. My baby.

Mommy Question {Brusha Brusha Brusha}

Evie has 6 teeth. She's had these same six teeth for a while now.. She seems to be teething and chewing on her finger on the right side a lot lately, but I haven't seen any more pop through yet. 

I've given her a baby toothbrush to "brush" her teeth each night when we're getting ready for bed.. mainly to get her used to the feel of it and let her chew on it. But I haven't actually added real teeth brushing to our routine yet. At her 1 year appointment, our pediatrician asked about what we were doing and gave us a little packet from a local pediatric dentist with a toothbrush, toothpaste and a little info sheet. The toothpaste is Crest for Kids. With fluoride. 

That's bad, right?? Fluoride?

I'm not all organic anything, really, but with Evie, I have tried to be conscious of what products we use. And I'm pretty sure fluoride is no bueno for the little ones. Am I right?? Someone help me out here. 

I did a quick little search for some fluoride-free toothpaste for her, and came across Tom's of Maine. Anyone heard of it??

Okay, I recognize Orajel...

So if you have a little one, what kind of toothpaste do you use? We used the Crest once this weekend, and Evie got all excited and started sucking the toothbrush. I only put a tiny dab on there, and I knew she might do that, buuut not really what I was hoping for.

Any suggestions? Sister has started to rock some morning breath, so I know it's time to get our oral health in order. :)

Thankful Thursday {My Babies}

No, I'm not pregnant...

This is my first baby. My first little girl.

I think about her a lot. Not every day, but nearly. This time of year especially. I'm not the type to dwell on days or specific dates.. but seasons of life get to me. Smells, the air, music, feelings. And all of these have been bringing her up in my mind and heart recently.

I am so thankful to have carried her, even for such a short time. Her life has forever changed mine. And what I'm so excited for- what I cannot wait for- is to meet her and hold her in heaven. Because I know that I know that I will have that precious opportunity one day.

Have you read Heaven is For Real? I haven't, actually, but want to. I need to borrow it from one of the many people I know who have it! But I have heard more than a few stories from the book, one of which is how the little boy met his sister in heaven. The sister who had been miscarried.. the sister he had never heard about before. I want to cry just thinking about it.

I know everyone grieves differently, and sadly, too many of us have to grieve for the loss of a child these days. For me, it's healing to think about her, to miss her, to long for her. I don't even need to talk about her- but just to hold those feelings inside of me and cry for her sometimes. My child. My baby.. who was not a mistake, not a misstep.. who was not flawed or broken. Who was stolen from my arms. She is perfect and beautiful and whole in heaven and I cannot wait to meet her. I am so thankful for her. 

        ♥      ♥      ♥

Today I am also thankful for this little one. My girl.

 
She is the light of my life.  

This sweet baby has brought more joy, love and happiness than I've ever known. Our lives have been forever changed with the addition of hers and there's nothing I wouldn't do for her. It's hard to put into words how thankful I am for my Evie. How blessed I feel to be her mama. I'm so thankful to be able to hold her every day. To kiss her and snuggle her and love her. To breathe her in. It makes my heart ache thinking about how much I love her.

Thank you Jesus for my precious girl.

Mother's Day

I hope you all had a wonderful Mother's Day!

Mine was very special, since this is my first year to celebrate! I am over-the-moon excited, blessed and happy to be this little Sweet Pea's mama. Nothing could make me happier.

She brings me such joy.. I can't even begin to describe it.

I am feeling very thankful for my wonderful family and all that God has blessed us with.

Happy Mother's Day to all of our moms and grandmas!! We have a bunch in this family! :)

This crazy little trio is missing every one of you!!

Officially a SAHM

Yep, that's me!

A Stay At Home Mom!

Well...

I was..

... for about 26 hours or so the other day...

:)

Here's the deal. When I was pregnant with Evie, I knew I didn't want to go back to work full time. Thankfully I didn't have to and after maternity leave I was able to go back part time. Make that two days a week and one from home. Total score. Totally blessed. Fast forward to Thursday afternoon, when we had a mandatory meeting and I had a feeling something was up. Basically our department was being completely downsized. They barely scraped by from getting the complete ax. That was my last day. I wasn't expecting to hear that, but neither was I totally shocked or devastated. I think I just had peace about our situation and where I should be- whether that was staying home full time with Evie or finding another part time position. But I did really like my job.. and my bosses.. and the flexibility. They are/were very family friendly and I know I had a good thing going. Not everyone is so lucky.

So yesterday, hubby and I were out to a late lunch and discussing what I should do. Neither of us wanted me to simply find another part time job just for the sake of a job. But at the same time, if I can be contributing financially in some way, I am more than happy to do so. I do, after all, still have some school loans to pay off. Ugh. And as much as I love being at home with my girl and always pictured myself as a stay at home mom, I must say it has been good for my sanity to get out of the house those two days a week. And, you know, talk to people who are able to sit up on their own and don't spit up on a regular basis.

Not long after getting home from lunch, my former boss texts me to see if I have time to talk. Okay... sure. Well, long story short, the one gal that they were financially able to keep on was fired on Friday morning. Seriously. For something totally unrelated and slightly unethical. I don't want to get into any specifics, but needless to say we were all shocked. She didn't do anything illegal or too morally wrong.. just not something she should do in our particular field. And she got caught. In her (slight) defense, I don't believe her intent was malicious.

ANYWAY...

So they offered me my job back. Just as it was. I took about 20 minutes to think about it and talk it over with hubby before calling her back to accept. I thought about asking for more money, but since funding was the reason everyone was laid off in the first place, I didn't think it would go over too well. :)

So after an oh-so-brief hiatus, it's back to the grind next week for me!

Working it Out. In More Ways Than One.

Yesterday was a blur. I think I ran the virtual gauntlet of emotions and I'm still deciding how I came out in the end.

Yesterday was my first day back to work.

Only it wasn't just that.. my first day back... it was also the day after our worst night ever with this sweet little Evie girl.

Even now, thinking back on the night, it doesn't seem too bad. (Hubby would probably beg to differ). Evie was fussy and clingy all day Monday. I thought maybe she was just out of sorts since my mom had been in town this weekend.. maybe the extra stimulation and out of the ordinary routine had taken their toll. I also wondered if the little munchkin was an early bloomer and teething. She has been knawing on her fist for days, drooling, and horror of

horrors- clamping down on mom, if you catch my drift. NOT FUN. We've also been struggling to get her to take a bottle. I introduced it to her at the right time- 4 weeks- but I haven't really been making her take a bottle often enough, and last week she flat out refused to take it. As in, she was pissed. Cue me trolling the aisles of Babies R Us for every bottle that resembles, um, ME. Not exactly my kind of treasure hunt. But we finally worked it out last Friday, and have been working on it all weekend.

I have been thanking the Lord for days, because, what would we do?? After some time searching the internets, I discovered that we could probably feed her with a spoon or a syringe. But can you even imagine?? No thank you.

Finally taking a bottle from Daddy

So back to Monday night.. it was just rough. I would put her to bed, she'd sleep and then be up 20 or 30 minutes later crying and screaming. By around 11:30 things were going from bad to worse and Evie was no longer the only one bawling her eyes out.

No one really tells you how hard it is to watch your child suffer.. the love you'll feel? Yes. But the pain? I mean, I could cry right now just thinking about her sweet little face all scrunched up and red, tears streaming that she should never have to shed. :(

We could tell she was definitely in pain and finally decided to call the doctor. Of course at that time of night, there's just a recording telling you to go to the ER. No thanks. So we did what any other nearly 30 year old couple would do in this situation- called mom. My mother in law, saint that she is, came over and held Evie for a few hours so we could try to get a little sleep. I ended up holding her the rest of the night, propped up in bed.

Needless to say, I wasn't going to make it in to work on time, on my very first day back! Thankfully she woke up cooing and happy, like she usually does. Me? I was still a complete wreck. So I went ahead and took her to the pediatrician, just to check things out and make sure all was well. Of course, it was. She is totally fine. It was probably just that pizza I ate a few nights ago. Bad Mommy.

So I was able to salvage part of the day and head to the office for the afternoon. The highlight of my first "day" back??? Hands down, had to be kicking the company accountant out of her office for 20 minutes so I could pump. Yep. Our NORMAL designated area (THE SMALL CONFERNECE ROOM) was in use. I mean, really??? What am I going to do, hang a big sign on the door that says Lactation in Progress ???

By four o'clock, the sleep deprivation was definitely starting to kick in. That's about the time my MIL calls to say that Evie is refusing to take a second bottle. Oh dear Lord. Thankfully my job is very flexible and I could jet right out of there to feed my baby. The only problem? Work is a solid 20 minutes away from home. And during rush hour? You can count on 35-40 minutes of drive time. So it's not like I can plan to come home for lunch or any time our little stinker starts holding out for the real thing. Sigh... the work continues.

Evie and her Grandy

And yes- my daughter has an array grumpy faces in her arsenal. But I promise she's a happy girl! :)

16 Weeks: It's a... !!

Thanks for participating in my little poll! Since I know that this is the information you're dying to know, here are the very scientific results:

Baby H is a...

• Boy !! 40%
• Girl !! 45%
• One of each 15%
• Hmmm, I haven't decided 0%

What am I supposed to make of these results, people?? This basically tells me nothing!!

Sheesh.

Well, here's our bean! The pictures today were not the best :(

I was a little bummed that I couldn't see more profile or details. The little booger looks kinda squished in there! I guess he/she could take it up with management..

ANYway.

The doc says...

We're having...

a.......

GIRL!!

..:maybe:..

Yeah, that's right. He's 95% sure it's a girl. What kind of answer is that? Doesn't he get paid the big bucks to know for SURE??? Bllaaaaahhhhh!

Oh well. In all likelihood there's a mini me kickin' around in my belly. We were a little disappointed to not know for SURE sure, but what can you do? Ground her? I already tried that.

Everything looks great and on schedule, though, so we're very thankful for that! I don't really feel like I've grown much yet, so I have to say I'm relieved to see that she's right on track!

Now to the belly shot.

You would not believe how hard it is to stage a bathroom photoshoot all by yourself.

This is frame 17 of 41:

16 Weeks

The doctor did ask me if I'm eating enough.. said I haven't gained much weight (3 LBs, kids) and kind of gave me the stink eye and some fatherly schpeel about how sometimes the "thin" girls can be a little vain and don't gain enough weight. I almost bonked him on the head with that ultrasound wand but hubby saw it coming and held me back.

VAIN? Are you kidding me?

Okay, okay, it wasn't as bad as all that, but I was a little defensive. I've been trying to eat really healthy and more frequently and I've certainly NOT been dieting! A girl just can't win.

So now I'm off to do what any hormonal pregnant gal would do- head to my favorite Mexican joint and go to town.

Sweet (and Fruity) News

Surprise!!

Our little family is growing!

I am, without a doubt, knocked up
and expecting our first little munchkin in early December!


Check out that noggin!
This is no surprise (sigh).. both of us have larger than "0ne-size-fits-most" heads.


We are over the moon excited and thrilled to finally be able to share the big news. We had our 12 week appointment yesterday, which means my first trimester finish line is in site!

It's been both a long and quick 3 months for me (contradiction, much?)... I haven't been feeling great and have had the energy level of a elephant after a sit-down buffet: ZERO. However, with so much going on, time has flown by and I can hardly believe we're nearly a third of the way to meeting our lil baby. :)



The obligatory bump watch:
12 Weeks

I was happy to learn that I have not gained any weight yet- though my special friend "bloat" comes and goes like a clingy ex-boyfriend. (Last week you could swear I was in my 5th month). I definitely have more going on in front, but at least today wasn't too bad for the photo session.


It cracks me up how all the pregnancy books compare your growing baby to various fruit. This week she/he is the size of a lime! (I'll never look at a margarita the same again!)
At our appointment yesterday, our doc noted that the lil bugger was just laying there at the bottom of my uterus like she/he was chillin' in a hammock.

Since I am a total dork, I put this together for your visualizing pleasure:


Hubby thinks the baby is like me- always looking to lay down and nap.

I would just like him/her to pick a new spot to settle in- right on top of my bladder is not going to fly for another 6 months!



I prayed for this child, and the Lord has granted me what I asked of him. So now I give him to the Lord. For his whole life he will be given over to the Lord.
1 Samuel 1: 27-28

"Future Mother" Controversy

Okay kids, apparently there has been some confusion regarding a specific reference to myself in my very first blog.

Sheesh, off to a great start!

Let the record show that I am not pregnant. I am not with child. No bun in the oven. I am not in a family way, nor am I eating for two (okay, that one's debatable).

I only meant in the FUTURE, as I am looking forward to being a mother.

If you all are lucky, you might catch me in the height of my baby fever, which would naturally spill over to a blog about all things baby, including nursery colors, breast pumps, swaddling techniques and the best ways to coerce your husband into changing all the questionable diapers.

You lucky dogs.

So I hope this clears things up. Of course, when the stork eventually does visit our house, you all will be the first to hear! Because as you probably know by now, we're destined/doomed to have twins or triplets, and Lord help us if they're all girls... But either way, mama will need a break and you will all be on speed dial to babysit!!