Wednesday, March 31, 2010

you might be a complete idiot if.. walked the halls of your office building and beyond all day long
before looking down to notice this:

D*mn you, petal cushions!

I should have just left my fly open and
tucked my skirt into my underwear and called it a day.

Thank you, thank you very much.

Sunday, March 28, 2010


I love spring.
Don't you?

New life, new beginnings.
A clean slate.

I love spring thunderstorms and the moody gray sky right after a downpour.
The hazy light that the clouds cast on everything is dreamy.. especially with little peeks of color that let you know life is about to break free from wintertime..

Our tulip tree started a few weeks ago.
I took these pictures before the last (I hope) winter hurrah blew through last weekend, dumping nearly a foot of snow on us. Ugh.
I'm really hoping they survive it and come back strong. I think they will.

And look at our little hydrangea bushes. I just can't wait for them to bloom.

It makes me so excited to see the green buds peeking out.

Take a look at these babies.
I planted tulips last summer and then dug up the bulbs from a few of the pots and very meticulously (ha!) stored them in a plastic tupperware dish in the garage.

Isn't my thumb green??
I was wholly surprised to see little signs of life:

Today we got outside and did some yard work and I planted them on the side of our house.
I'm really hoping they make it! I love tulips. I'm trying to remember what color they were..
I'm thinking pink.

And this beauty- well I'm just trying to keep her alive.
Much easier said than done, for moi.
I've heard all that nonsense about orchids being very hard to kill, but I've put to rest my fair share of aloe vera and succulents, so I'm not buying it. I'll let you know how it goes.

How's your garden this year?

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Our toilet is angry


I thought it was going to be such a nice, relaxing St. Patty's Day... I, of all people, should know by now that any major holiday* is just asking for problems with the commode.

I got to sleep in a little this morning- I had to go by a client's office around 9:30, so I stayed at home and logged on beforehand rather than drive all the way downtown.

About 9:10, as I am putting the finishing touches on my eye makeup and trying to shove my feet into some gorgeous and freakishly uncomfortable heels, I start to hear a noise.. an unnatural noise. And it was coming from the toilet.

Let me just insert here, that I do NOT like toilets. Don't even like the word. I think they're gross, disgusting, likely full of the worst kind of germs, and I hate, HATE when people leave the lid open for all to walk by and see. YEEECK people! Don't you know that stuff literally FLIES OUT when you flush with the lid open?? For like, a six foot radius?? Tell me you haven't gotten that email forward with all the statistics on it at least 3 times! Your whole bathroom is contaminated. Luckily, after much subtle hinting and many exasperated sighs and lid slamming during our first year of marriage, hubby nearly always shuts the lid. Hallelujah. And yes, I am one of the lucky gals who never had to deal with a husband who leaves the actual seat open. Oh the horror.

Anyway, back to the noise. It was all loud and angry and gargle-y and mixed in with this rushing wind sound that came from outside and below and everywhere and I thought a tornado was about to come and take me and Toto (I mean Duke) straight to the Emerald City.

I straight up yelled at the thing and started grabbing everything close to it to chuck out of the way of what I thought was an impending overflow. OF SEWAGE. Oh heaven help me.

So here I am, in my 5 inch heels and pencil skirt, wildly grabbing old towels from the cabinet to throw down on the ground, screaming at this thing that "No you will NOT overflow! I will NOT ALLOW IT!"

About this time Duke made a mad dash for the doggy door. Don't blame the guy.

Mr. Porcelain calmed down long enough for me to peek in the bowl and see that strangely enough, things look pretty normal, and then call hubby to fill him in on the exciting news. He was just ecstatic, let me tell you. I was all set to call the plumber but hubby wasn't thrilled with the idea of paying someone $90 just to come jiggle the handle and magically fix it all.

Then the noise started again, and I can only imagine what a sight I was- standing 5 feet away from the thing, leaning my upper body as far out as I could with my arm stretched toward the bowl, waving my phone around but making sure my face was turned away (just in case), yelling "can you HEAR it?? That! That noise! Can you hear THAT?"

My guess is his whole office could hear it. And me.

So, genius that he is, he suggests that I turn off the water to the toilet. Huh. Who knew there was such an option?? So I creep down there (righty tighty lefty loosey) and turn it as fast as I can, just sure it's about to explode on top of me.

The noise gurgles to a stop. WHEW! Then lo and behold I hear a noise behind me! One of our double sinks is now freaking out. OMG WILL THIS NEVER END? I stare down at it in horror as Duke cautiously peeks only his nose and one eye around the door. Hubby has hung up to call our go-to handy man (MIL's boyfriend) while I give the sink a verbal thrashing. Duke is long gone.

The sink finally quiets down and I creep around the house with my ear cocked, listening for the faintest hint of water-like sound. Nothing. So I start to make my way back to the offending bathroom and hear some noise. "NO MEANS NO!" I yell and it shuts up. That's more like it.

After another call to the hubs, who has no additional sparks of genius to offer, I decide to roll the dice and get the heck outta Dodge. On my way out, I let Duke know it's probably a good idea to spend some quality time outdoors, annoying the neighbors today. He agrees. My boy doesn't like loud noises.

Gah. I must say, this was not the best way to start off the day. I would have headed straight to the bar for a pint of green beer if I thought it was at all socially acceptable at 10 in the morning. Oh wait..

I did however, call my Dad on the way in for some fatherly advice. I still call him for all my toilet bowl issues. And car stuff. Don't tell hubby. Anyway, he let me know that it probably has something to with the main water lines to our neighborhood and not our actual plumbing. So that's good news. I think. Something about back pressure something something. I did call the water department, and Teresa was kind enough to let me know that she had no idea what the problem might be but to call back if it was still a problem tonight. Uh huh. Sure thing T-bone.

To say I have been thoroughly toilet bowl traumatized would be an understatement. It's not at all lost on me that these things only occur when it's me and the dog at home. It's like it waits until hubby leaves to bring out the big guns.. And when hubby starts giving me the stink eye, there's really only so much I can blame on the dog. He's already taking the rap for eating all the oreos.

*Last Christmas Eve this very toilet had the nerve to actually, physically overflow. I will save that tale for another time.. one toilet story at a time, people.

Monday, March 8, 2010


My little craigslist chair makeover has been featured on Tip Junkie! Check it out!
This is a super cool site if you want a little dose of inspiration or creativity.

And thanks to Katie for suggesting I send in some of my goods!

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Tick tock you don't stop

Oooooo, ooh ooh ooh ooooh ooh...

Get your minds out of the gutter. There wasn't a more fitting title than this- filthy school bus lyrics and all. Ah, the 7th grade...

I'm sure by now you have all seen this clock in the Pottery Barn catalog:

Love it. LOVE it.

Naturally, it's not for sale. None of the awesome accessories in their rooms ever are, are they?... but I guess if it did have a price tag on it, it would be somewhere in the four hundred and gimmeabigfatbreak range, which is just beyond my decor budget this week. So I decided I could make my own.


And I totally did. Be prepared to be amazed. ;)

Lots of gratuitous clock pictures to follow. No actual time-telling is involved.

First, I went to the hardware store to pick up some wood and roamed around for about 20 minutes looking for some guy in an apron to cut it down to size for me. After running into another lady and her daughter who were looking for the same aproned man, I got a little peeved and started shouting down the aisle at a group of workers who clearly had nothing better to do than lean on the customer service counter at the front of the store. No way was I gonna walk the length of a football field carrying an 8x4 piece of wood just to tap some guy in an apron on the shoulder and then walk all the way back to the community saw when my lungs would do the job just fine. The other lady was very appreciative and I think it's safe to bet that I'm that little girl's newest role model. Just doing my part.

Back home, I set up shop in front of the TV (watched My Sister's Keeper.. totally cried all over my art project, but it was worth it) and got to painting.

I scrounged around in the garage for whatever paint we had on hand and mixed up a light, creamy color to start. I've also been hitting up the mismatched paint section whenever I go to Home Depot or Lowe's for small cans of colors I like and can mix. I highly recommend this. Just a little crafty tip from me to you.

My next layer was a little lighter and watered down, for a slightly white-washed look to age it up a bit.

I didn't take any pics of the next step, but I used a box cutter and a flathead screwdriver and hammer to gouge little cracks in the grain of the wood. Then I got out some craft paint in brick red, yellow and a wrought iron gray color. I read another blog post somewhere along the line of a lady who also made this clock, and all I can remember is that she used red and yellow paint to create the rusted look in the cracks, so I thought I should too. I wasn't loving the ketchup and mustard look, so I rubbed the color using a rag just barely dipped in water to tone it down a bit. Then I went in with the blue/gray for some more dimension.

On to the numbers! I printed out an X, V and two I's to do all the numerals. I used a push tack and a piece of string to lightly draw the outer circle and line up where each numeral should go. I just lightly painted in the numerals with a black/gray paint mix and didn't worry about getting it too perfect.

Looking good! But she needed a little more aging, so I busted out the glaze:

Ahhh, much better!

Here she is in her new home in the dining room:

Don't mind my dead plants.. I can't keep a plant alive to save my life.

You like??

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