A Pregnant Pause

So the other day I'm minding my own business, contemplating my 5th snack of the day. Nothing new. Since I am now responsible for another human being's nutritional intake, I have really been trying to eat more fruits and veggies. And fruit is very easy to grab and take with me to snack on at work.

So anyhoo, I'm looking down at my little orange, thinking how fresh and tasty (although messy) this little snack will be.


Mmmm, don't you look delish.


Wait a tick. Something is familiar here.. and off.

If I'm not mistaken, the WhattoExpectWhenYou'reExpecting/BabyCenter/TheBump/YOU:HavingaBaby gurus say that my baby is the size of a lemon this week. Which is alarmingly similar in size to this very orange.


Hello Baby.


Suddenly I'm totally freaked out. I mean, is it okay to eat this now?? Is this totally weird, or what? Who's idea was it to liken your growing child to a veritable fruit basket, anyway? Freakin' marketing department. Clearly they didn't consult with any doctors before dispersing their fruit comparisons as the end all be all. Surely the docs would have seen right away that it's not a good idea to confuse and disorient this hormonally charged demographic. Right?? I mean, I can't be the only one weirded out by this.

Ugh. I like fruit. And now I think I'm going to have a tricky time with this until my baby reaches the size of something obscure, like a kumquat. Because who the H knows what a kumquat is? NOT ME.

Thank God there will never be a week when little baby resembles a banana, because then we'd have a real problem. I'm fairly sure I single-handedly keep a third of the banana industry afloat. You're welcome Chiquita.

So what's a girl to do now? Start busting out broccoli florets at 9:30 am? Oh the fun never ends..