These are My (Pregnancy) Confessions

{Confession 1}: My pants are rigged.
A few weeks ago, lightening struck and I had the genius idea to rifle around in my underwear drawer for what could be the answer to my maternity pants crisis. Success! I found just what I was looking for: a heather gray, Ralph Lauren bandeau bra circa 2001 that I knew could double as a belly band and serve as the missing link to my non-pregnancy jeans. Please don't ask me why I have one of these bras, if I ever wore it (as a bra) or why it's still in my possession. All I know is my frequent TJ Maxx and NBC shopping trips during college are now paying off in spades as my pregnancy wardrobe expands with my belly.

{Confession 2}: Dreft is for the birds.
Yeah, I'm not a fan. And this is apparently a problem, as everything that touches the baby is (supposedly) to be washed in it. UGH. I mean, have you smelled it?? The first time I did a load, over a month ago, I walked in the laundry room to put the clothes in the dryer and nearly had to turn around and walk right back out. And now every time I open her closet I'm hit with a wave of the sickly sweet smell. I'm sure this has everything to do with my Basset Hound of a pregnant nose, but eeeegads. I am hoping and praying that as soon as she pops out I'll get my regular old nose back find the scent to be lovely and baby fresh. We'll see.

Update: I have since done many more loads of baby laundry with The Dreft. While it's still not my favorite smell, it's potency has worn off a bit.. thankfully.

{Confession 3}: Pregnancy nose is for the birds.
Expanding on number 2- I will not be at all sorry to lose this flippin nose. It is downright exhausting, sometimes. My poor hubby has bore the brunt of this little symptom. Case in point: he's had a touch of high blood pressure recently, and started taking some garlic pills as a suggested natural remedy. No big deal right? He was even thoughtful enough to pick up the "unscented" variety. WRONG. Every so often we'll be sitting on the couch watching Modern Family or driving to QT and my nose goes in the air and I give him a sideways glance that says "I know what you've been up to, buddy boy." GARLIC. And other times I'll sniff around him for no reason, maybe trying to decipher what he had for lunch, and there's that hummus smell for miles. WHAT IN THE WORLD, PEOPLE?? Now, in his defense, no one but me can smell this. Cause I've asked around. So don't think you're going to pop on by our house and start sniffing around my husband, because I'm the only one who gets away with that sort of thing. He smells just fine to the rest of the world. I've already requested that he stop taking these pills as d-day approaches. I can't be leaning on him, trying to get my cleansing breath on and feel like I'm in a Greek restaurant to give birth.

{Confession 4}: I cannot WAIT for maternity leave.
I feel bad writing this, because I know that hubby would love a 12 week break from work as much as I would. And I use the term "break" loosely, because we all know it won't be a bed of roses. I'm just sayin'. Having an actual end in site to the current full-time work schedule is music to my ears. I'm sure I'm deluding myself by thinking I'll have all this time to do stuff around the house, but I'm excited about it nonetheless.

{Confession 5}: I have an overconfidence in my mothering skills.
I have to admit, I have about zero apprehensions/fears about bringing home this little babe. Why?.. Oh, I don't know, naivety, I guess. Hubby and I will discuss this every now and then, and he'll share his honest thoughts and apprehensions about being responsible for another human life and taking care of her and everything involved. You know, normal stuff. But me? I seem to have absolutely no fears at all. Now I know it's not going to be all sunshine and rainbows, but I'm just not worried. What does this all mean? I'm thinking it means that I'll either skate on through or am about to be hit with a Mack truck of real life with a newborn. I'll keep you posted.


{Confession 6}: I fully expect to birth a Mini Me.
If you know me at all, this comes as no surprise to you. I have long made it clear that I hope my little girl is born with lots of dark hair and dark eyes like I was.. I seriously came out with more hair on my head than hubby has now. (Not that he's losing his hair or anything- but he wears it pretty short). If we had lived in the Carribean, I think my mom would have let the nurses braid and put beads in my hair before we checked out of the hospital. :) But doesn't everyone feel this way?? I just want her to look like me. Is that too much to ask?? Don't get me wrong- when we have a little boy, I want him to look just like hubby.. with tan-able skin and carmel colored hair and eyes.. think Kelly Ripa's youngest son. So I'm not trying to discriminate or anything. Oh, and also? I want her to be brown.

{Confession 7}: Pregnancy Brain is REAL. And no joke.
This is one of those "symptoms" that I wasn't really sure I believed in at first. Even when people I knew told me that they started forgetting things while pregnant, I thought it was all in their head. Not so. My brain will draw a total blank at times, as words and names and other facts that I've known for years fly right out of my head at the most inopportune times. For example, a few weeks ago, I could not for the life of me think of the work Reconcile. I was at work and it was the end of the month, so I was working some of our sales/accounting records. And what did I need to do with another employee??? RECONCILE our monthly sales spreadsheet. Yet I spent the better part of the morning just trying to think of the d*mn word so that I could email her and let her know that I was ready to get the fun accounting party started. I even tried explaining to my co-workers and looking up synonyms online and still couldn't figure it out! At approximately 2pm the next day, the word finally came to me.

{Confession 8}: I'm hoping to have as natural a labor and delivery as possible.
No home birth, no water birth.. I don't have a midwife or a doula. But I am really hoping to labor at home as long as possible and have very few interventions at the hospital. I've always thought I could probably deliver without an epidural.. my mom didn't have one for either of us kids and honestly, I think I have a higher pain tolerance than my mom. She didn't want that big needle in her back. I'm not so scared about that aspect, I just want to try it on my own. The way I see it, women have been having babies without medicine as pain relief since the beginning of time. We were created to carry babies and deliver them when the time comes. So why should I doubt that my body can do it, too?
Sidenote- I did go ahead and sign up for the epidural, since you can't change your mind and request one in the throes of labor if you haven't signed up ahead of time. And hubby and I have a safe word, should it come to that. :)

{Confession 9}: Sometimes I wish men had to experience pregnancy, too.
There have been times throughout this experience when I really just wished hubby had an inkling of what I was feeling or experiencing. The weird pains and sensations.. the emotions.. the bizarre changes in your body. Because, frankly, trying to explain what bloat feels like just doesn't do it justice. And I don't think the term Lightening Crotch carries the same weight for a guy. Also, try as I may, I just don't think there is a way to explain how amazing and unreal it feels when a baby kicks you and moves inside of you... There is just nothing like it.

{Confession 10}: This pregnancy has been... a dream.
Seriously. I know I rant and rave on here, but in all honesty, I am one lucky duck. Or rather, really, really blessed, because I don't necessarily believe in luck. I do, however, believe in good genes, and I've clearly been blessed with those in spades for this pregnancy! Thanks Mom! A few notables: though nauseous in the first trimester, I never actually got sick.. I have felt great overall the entire 10 months.. I've managed to avoid the dreaded "pregnancy face".. (if you don't agree with me here and think I look a little bloated, I don't want to hear it!).. my ankles/feet only get mildly bloated at the end of the day or if I've been standing too long.. no stretch marks!!!!... I have not had any heartburn... and the kicker- no excessive or alarming gas! Okay, okay, I was pretty burpy in the first trimester, but I think we can all agree that it could have been MUCH worse.

{BONUS Confession}: Skinny jeans on boys/men make me want to retch.
No, this has nothing to do with being pregnant.. I feel the exact same way in any season of my life. But it needed to be said. I seriously stop and stare and shake my head disapprovingly any time I see a male in jeans tighter than mine. NOT GOOD. NOT CUTE. MOVE ALONG.
That's all I have to say about that.