Working it Out. In More Ways Than One.

Yesterday was a blur. I think I ran the virtual gauntlet of emotions and I'm still deciding how I came out in the end.

Yesterday was my first day back to work.

Only it wasn't just that.. my first day back... it was also the day after our worst night ever with this sweet little Evie girl.

Even now, thinking back on the night, it doesn't seem too bad. (Hubby would probably beg to differ). Evie was fussy and clingy all day Monday. I thought maybe she was just out of sorts since my mom had been in town this weekend.. maybe the extra stimulation and out of the ordinary routine had taken their toll. I also wondered if the little munchkin was an early bloomer and teething. She has been knawing on her fist for days, drooling, and horror of

horrors- clamping down on mom, if you catch my drift. NOT FUN. We've also been struggling to get her to take a bottle. I introduced it to her at the right time- 4 weeks- but I haven't really been making her take a bottle often enough, and last week she flat out refused to take it. As in, she was pissed. Cue me trolling the aisles of Babies R Us for every bottle that resembles, um, ME. Not exactly my kind of treasure hunt. But we finally worked it out last Friday, and have been working on it all weekend.

I have been thanking the Lord for days, because, what would we do?? After some time searching the internets, I discovered that we could probably feed her with a spoon or a syringe. But can you even imagine?? No thank you.

Finally taking a bottle from Daddy

So back to Monday night.. it was just rough. I would put her to bed, she'd sleep and then be up 20 or 30 minutes later crying and screaming. By around 11:30 things were going from bad to worse and Evie was no longer the only one bawling her eyes out.

No one really tells you how hard it is to watch your child suffer.. the love you'll feel? Yes. But the pain? I mean, I could cry right now just thinking about her sweet little face all scrunched up and red, tears streaming that she should never have to shed. :(

We could tell she was definitely in pain and finally decided to call the doctor. Of course at that time of night, there's just a recording telling you to go to the ER. No thanks. So we did what any other nearly 30 year old couple would do in this situation- called mom. My mother in law, saint that she is, came over and held Evie for a few hours so we could try to get a little sleep. I ended up holding her the rest of the night, propped up in bed.

Needless to say, I wasn't going to make it in to work on time, on my very first day back! Thankfully she woke up cooing and happy, like she usually does. Me? I was still a complete wreck. So I went ahead and took her to the pediatrician, just to check things out and make sure all was well. Of course, it was. She is totally fine. It was probably just that pizza I ate a few nights ago. Bad Mommy.

So I was able to salvage part of the day and head to the office for the afternoon. The highlight of my first "day" back??? Hands down, had to be kicking the company accountant out of her office for 20 minutes so I could pump. Yep. Our NORMAL designated area (THE SMALL CONFERNECE ROOM) was in use. I mean, really??? What am I going to do, hang a big sign on the door that says Lactation in Progress ???

By four o'clock, the sleep deprivation was definitely starting to kick in. That's about the time my MIL calls to say that Evie is refusing to take a second bottle. Oh dear Lord. Thankfully my job is very flexible and I could jet right out of there to feed my baby. The only problem? Work is a solid 20 minutes away from home. And during rush hour? You can count on 35-40 minutes of drive time. So it's not like I can plan to come home for lunch or any time our little stinker starts holding out for the real thing. Sigh... the work continues.

Evie and her Grandy

And yes- my daughter has an array grumpy faces in her arsenal. But I promise she's a happy girl! :)