This is my first baby. My first little girl.
I think about her a lot. Not every day, but nearly. This time of year especially. I'm not the type to dwell on days or specific dates.. but seasons of life get to me. Smells, the air, music, feelings. And all of these have been bringing her up in my mind and heart recently.
I am so thankful to have carried her, even for such a short time. Her life has forever changed mine. And what I'm so excited for- what I cannot wait for- is to meet her and hold her in heaven. Because I know that I know that I will have that precious opportunity one day.
Have you read Heaven is For Real? I haven't, actually, but want to. I need to borrow it from one of the many people I know who have it! But I have heard more than a few stories from the book, one of which is how the little boy met his sister in heaven. The sister who had been miscarried.. the sister he had never heard about before. I want to cry just thinking about it.
I know everyone grieves differently, and sadly, too many of us have to grieve for the loss of a child these days. For me, it's healing to think about her, to miss her, to long for her. I don't even need to talk about her- but just to hold those feelings inside of me and cry for her sometimes. My child. My baby.. who was not a mistake, not a misstep.. who was not flawed or broken. Who was stolen from my arms. She is perfect and beautiful and whole in heaven and I cannot wait to meet her. I am so thankful for her.
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Today I am also thankful for this little one. My girl.
She is the light of my life.
This sweet baby has brought more joy, love and happiness than I've ever known. Our lives have been forever changed with the addition of hers and there's nothing I wouldn't do for her. It's hard to put into words how thankful I am for my Evie. How blessed I feel to be her mama. I'm so thankful to be able to hold her every day. To kiss her and snuggle her and love her. To breathe her in. It makes my heart ache thinking about how much I love her.
Thank you Jesus for my precious girl.